i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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