my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
