hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
