you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
