Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
