she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
