its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize