Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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