for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
