I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
