Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

I am coming home for anal

(254): View more from Texas

* a nap*

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(732): View more from New Jersey

dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(585): View more from New York

just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Im calling him

(606): View more from Kentucky

was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember

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(207): View more from Maine

when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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(818): View more from California

How ironic... opening your legs for closure.

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(212): View more from New York

My penis is lonely

(202): View more from Washington, DC

So is my ring finger

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