I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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