Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
