the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
