How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
