Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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