im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
