Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
