Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize