I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
