I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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