I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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