reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
