but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
