I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
