I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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