can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
