Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
