Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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