For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
