That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
