In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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