Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
