i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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