We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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