Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You made out with two different species that night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
