That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
