My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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