You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she smelled like a LAN party
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
