in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
