Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
