I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
