I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
