U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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