he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
