You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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