I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
