a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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