we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
