I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
