Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize