a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is Oprah even human
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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