whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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