we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
