I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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