maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
nutella sex= disaster
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
