On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
