i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
