my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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