Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize