Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
