Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize