We won't sleep together?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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