hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
