Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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