If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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