good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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