the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize