took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I smell stomach acid.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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