I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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